Celebrating Life

I hate funerals.

Even if I wasn't even that close to the person who has passed I cry buckets. It's the whole concept of it all, the coffin, the somber men carrying the coffin, the family and friends grieving, the beautiful flowers, the prayers, the anecdotes from his/her childhood, the music....

I somehow feel silly to be crying if I didn't know the person that well... Like I'm not allowed to shed tears... I don't know... Maybe I'm just a sensitive person. Or maybe it's just a Swedish/English polite thing.

But they are often also beautiful.

The flowers, the prayers, the anecdotes, the poems, music... Although sad, it's very beautiful.
It's also about the people in their life; their parents, children, lovers and friends.
It's a celebration of Life and the legacy they leave behind.
It's about Love and compassion. Friendship.

It does make you think. Life is so, so precious... It's the people in your life that matters - all the other worldy things really don't matter at the end of the day.

Your job, car, tax returns, public transport... We spend so many hours of the day worrying about all these silly things. Such a waste.

A young person recently passed. She was only 32 so she was taken away much too soon...
Her funeral was so beautiful, however sad. I cried buckets.
There were no flowers, no black clothes, no somber music but rather people were wearing bright colours and we listened to Take That.
She had so many family and friends there to pay their respects/say their final goodbyes. The whole place was packed, people were even standing at the far end of the room and around the sides.
She was clearly a person who cared for her friends and someone who was much liked. An outgoing, bright and loving person.

Take care of yourselves and your loved ones.
And live Life to the fullest, you never know when it may be your turn to go.

Working week over!

Phew! That was my first week at work over - Thank God!

It hasn't been that hard really, but it is tricky to get your head around being back on the tube, suited and booted, and sitting in front of a computer all day. I hated commuting before and I still do although there's a vital and significant difference - I can read a book. Undisturbed!?

Thankfully, my colleauges are lovely so time passed quickly but unfortunatley they seem to think that I know exactly what to do!

I understand now why people tend to start tentatively, as it's a total shock to the system! I couldn't remember a thing and had to go over all the database shortcodes, passwords, keys, finance stuff etc.. I guess I'll get there eventually, but it'll take time.
Now anyone who knows me that I'm not a patient person so I tend to beat myself up if I "don't get it" straight away... Suppose I need to learn just to breathe and take a step back.

I've been thinking a lot about how I've changed actually. Especially how Jackson has contributed to these changes. He has learned me respect and I think I'm more patient and together person now... Maybe it's motherhood in general, I don't know, but either way - it's a positive change!

It's a strange feeling to suddenly be back in the "old me". I like that person, but as I've changed it feels rather as if I'm looking from the outside - in.

But God - how I miss him when I'm away....