So it turns out I have a stone in my tummy.
I mean, I can't actually feel it moving about as such, but I know it's there. I've seen it. Live on TV!
Lying there on the familiar ultrasound chair, almost expecting the ultrasound-man to say "and there's the baby!" - I was really nervous as he was moving the stick-thingy around over my tummy.
The doctors had been running test all day, ranging from x-rays, EKG-ing and now this so I was knackered and worried.
The man grunts and nods slowly.
I almost panic. This is is. I have some weird, really unusal disease and I only have five hours to live...
The man looks at me blankly and goes:
"Yup. It's a stone alright."
I gasp and look at the black mass on the blurry screen.
In comparison to the gallbladder itself it's massive! I'm strangly impressed and repulsed at the same time.
"Do you think I need an operation?" I ask tentatively.
I didn't heal so well last time I was cut open and so I'm not exactly thrilled at the prospect.
He looks at the stone on the screen again.
"Yes. It's just going to get worse from now." he says plainly. "Alright, better get going now. Busy day today!"
I'm rushed out from the room and back to my ward for more testing. Nurses and doctors all come up to ask how I'm feeling and if I need more painkillers etc. Thruthfully, (part from feeling starving from the nil-by-mouth malarkey!), I felt fine. Just like normal even.
The difference, I suppose, was that I know knew that something is wrong. I had just seen it with my own eyes.
And that was a good feeling.
A few years ago I went to our family doctor back home complaning about stomach pains and bloating. I knew that something was wrong and I was desperate for someone to help me.
That particular doctor thought it may be gallstones, but he was also quick to add that "I'm too young for such illnesses." (Oh great. So glad to be the exception!)
I went to my GP and she was adamant that I had IBS. There was NO waaaaay I could have gallstones!
Now, I know people with IBS and I've read lots about it and some of them suffer so badly, they can't leave the house. My pains would come and and go, and completely random.
It didn't feel right somehow. I knew something was wrong!
So I asked again if she could send me for a scan. She almost laughed in my face and said, in a round-about way, that it would be a waste of everyone's time.
I soon after fell pregnant and my priorities changed. I would still have pains but was busy listening out for my baby.
My point of all that is - stick to your guns.
I mean it.
I should have done. I knew something was wrong. I wish I had followed my gut feeling (no pun intended!) and forced them to give me an ultrasound.
"If you have health, you probably will be happy, and if you have health and happiness, you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want." ~Elbert Hubbard
Sunday 21 November 2010
Friday 22 October 2010
Playground Ethics
There are some unwritten rules when it comes to the playground.
Basically - keep an eye on your offspring and make sure he/she doesn't wack/bite/push any other kids. Sounds simple, doesn't it?
Sadly, it doesn't always work like that.
I don't know how many times other children have pushed past my little angel in the queue up the climbing frame, making him fall over and bump his head.
I try and not make too much of a fuss - though I feel like shouting: "Oi! Don't push in you little brat!! Can't you see that there is a queue?! You need to learn to wait your turn! Do that again and I'll throw you in the duckpond!!.
Then I remember that the child is five and shouldn't be responsible for his/her actions really. Morever, I would only make him/her cry and that's awkward. Also, had had one too many coffees that morning so was sort of wired.
At the end of the day, it's up to their mum to control their little angel. However, ormally she'll be standing somewhere over by the gates gossiping with the other mums, completely oblivious to the drama her child is causing.
So through gritted teeth I ask (nicely mind!) the other child to mind Jackson as he's only little, etc, etc.
The monster in question then turns to me and says with pursed lips:
"Whatever. You're not my mum!"
Monster then turns around, pushes Jackson over again and runs over to the slide.
Aaaaand the new Olympic sport iiiiis: "Throw in-duck-pond with little four year oooold!"
If only.
The other rules, which includes queuing again, (Brits love a good queue, don't they?), regards the swings. Kids love them. Parents love them. So if your little darling is on one chances are there will be a long queue of other kids waiting to get on them.
But there are the are hoggers... There's not much we can do about them. This breed of parents seem absolutely oblivious to the long queue of children crying, "I waaant to goo on the swiiiiiiing!!".
Asides from actually pushing their child off the swings there is not much you can do part from asking them to hurry the hell on.
PLaygrounds are great for making your child run off all that energy and that - but it's mighty tireing for mum...
Mind you... It is a very good oppertunity to catch up on the gossip!
Basically - keep an eye on your offspring and make sure he/she doesn't wack/bite/push any other kids. Sounds simple, doesn't it?
Sadly, it doesn't always work like that.
I don't know how many times other children have pushed past my little angel in the queue up the climbing frame, making him fall over and bump his head.
I try and not make too much of a fuss - though I feel like shouting: "Oi! Don't push in you little brat!! Can't you see that there is a queue?! You need to learn to wait your turn! Do that again and I'll throw you in the duckpond!!.
Then I remember that the child is five and shouldn't be responsible for his/her actions really. Morever, I would only make him/her cry and that's awkward. Also, had had one too many coffees that morning so was sort of wired.
At the end of the day, it's up to their mum to control their little angel. However, ormally she'll be standing somewhere over by the gates gossiping with the other mums, completely oblivious to the drama her child is causing.
So through gritted teeth I ask (nicely mind!) the other child to mind Jackson as he's only little, etc, etc.
The monster in question then turns to me and says with pursed lips:
"Whatever. You're not my mum!"
Monster then turns around, pushes Jackson over again and runs over to the slide.
Aaaaand the new Olympic sport iiiiis: "Throw in-duck-pond with little four year oooold!"
If only.
The other rules, which includes queuing again, (Brits love a good queue, don't they?), regards the swings. Kids love them. Parents love them. So if your little darling is on one chances are there will be a long queue of other kids waiting to get on them.
But there are the are hoggers... There's not much we can do about them. This breed of parents seem absolutely oblivious to the long queue of children crying, "I waaant to goo on the swiiiiiiing!!".
Asides from actually pushing their child off the swings there is not much you can do part from asking them to hurry the hell on.
PLaygrounds are great for making your child run off all that energy and that - but it's mighty tireing for mum...
Mind you... It is a very good oppertunity to catch up on the gossip!
Wednesday 29 September 2010
Photos
As a follow on from my earlier post - here are some wonderful photos all created with a handy little app...
Enjoy!
Work and play
We've been pretty busy lately trying to sort out our working sitation and I finally feel like where getting somewhere...
I love the feeling when the pieces of the puzzle comes together! It's been a struggle, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel - at last. If things go as planned next week, then we both could end working with jobs that we actually want to do...
Beacuse that is surely what life is about? Well, an aspect of at least. I'd like to think that work should reflect you and your character. That it should make you happy and proud.
I want to be able to say to my son that I'm doing something that I love and that I'm passionate about.
For me, it can't just be a job, it's who I am. It may sound like a cliche, but it's the truth.
I would not feel fulfilled and happy unless I was doing something I truly loved.
On another note, I've a relationship with my phone.
I know. It's ridiculous.
Apart from all the fun apps, the thing I love the most is that I can stay in touch with work all the time.
That is, however, also where the relationship borders on unhealthy.
There is a reason why people say you should be able to unwind and detach yourself but having an Iphone makes it impossible.
I'm sure, like with any new relationship this will eventually dwindle and the fire will sooner or later stop raging, but for now - it's definintely a passionate relationship.
Besides, if I do get this job then my iPhone is going to be my trusty ally so better keep feeding that fire...
I love the feeling when the pieces of the puzzle comes together! It's been a struggle, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel - at last. If things go as planned next week, then we both could end working with jobs that we actually want to do...
Beacuse that is surely what life is about? Well, an aspect of at least. I'd like to think that work should reflect you and your character. That it should make you happy and proud.
I want to be able to say to my son that I'm doing something that I love and that I'm passionate about.
For me, it can't just be a job, it's who I am. It may sound like a cliche, but it's the truth.
I would not feel fulfilled and happy unless I was doing something I truly loved.
On another note, I've a relationship with my phone.
I know. It's ridiculous.
Apart from all the fun apps, the thing I love the most is that I can stay in touch with work all the time.
That is, however, also where the relationship borders on unhealthy.
There is a reason why people say you should be able to unwind and detach yourself but having an Iphone makes it impossible.
I'm sure, like with any new relationship this will eventually dwindle and the fire will sooner or later stop raging, but for now - it's definintely a passionate relationship.
Besides, if I do get this job then my iPhone is going to be my trusty ally so better keep feeding that fire...
Friday 24 September 2010
"Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts."
It's strange when your parents cry.
You feel slightly awkward and weird and suddenly you are the one who tells you nice and comforting things. Maybe, like me, you feel like patting them on the back in a kinda "hang in there" gesture.
You want to take away their pain, but also, (perhaps because it feels slightly odd), you are a bit taken aback.
I mean - you are the child. You are the one who are meant to fall over and bruise your knee and then get cuddles from mummy.
But I wonder if it really is that plain? Surely it goes bothways? It may be strange, but when your parents need comforting and they can't go to their friends - should they come to you? Should you be a shoulder to cry on?
I have a very emotional Mother who never has shied away from displaying her emotions. I don't see this as a problem though, not at all. At least you will always know her true feelings!
My Father on the other hand... I don't know if I've ever seen him cry. At all. I thought I saw a tear at Grandad's funeral but maybe it was just my hazy eyesight, blurred from my own tears.
I don't find it hard to cry, in fact I do it quite often. More so after having our baby granted but nevertheless, I think I'm an emotional person. Like my Mother I explode and go ape immediately. I'm working on it though, and I try to not get into combat when riled as it always end up in tears. (Not mine though - mwhooohahhhaaa!)
For over two weeks time my Mother has called me and cried down the phone.
Sobbing...
She sometimes cries so much we can't have a conversation. Often I just let her cry and just sit there in silence.
She made a rash (and rather foolish) decision that she is now regretting.
I don't blame her, I would never have done what she did, and sadly, she knows that too now.
But what do you say?
She keeps asking what she should do... I don't know what to say. I'm angry that she didn't talk it through with us first.
I keep telling her that she is an emotional person and NEVER should make any decisions when angry/sad/elated...
I've learned this the hard way and perhaps she still needs to learn this...
But what do I do? Now, when it's done and she wishes it wasn't, and she CAN'T STOP crying?
All I can do is: say that it'll be alright.... That everything will be okay and that things are probably better this way... That what's done is done....
Problem is though, it's utter bollocks and just something you say...
I DON'T think it's for the better! Things ARE NOT better this way!
But of course I won't tell her that... My job is to comfort, to support, to soothe...
God knows that we're not perfect and we should recieve the support and love when we make mistakes.
It's something you say because you love them and you don't want to hear or see them suffer.
You feel slightly awkward and weird and suddenly you are the one who tells you nice and comforting things. Maybe, like me, you feel like patting them on the back in a kinda "hang in there" gesture.
You want to take away their pain, but also, (perhaps because it feels slightly odd), you are a bit taken aback.
I mean - you are the child. You are the one who are meant to fall over and bruise your knee and then get cuddles from mummy.
But I wonder if it really is that plain? Surely it goes bothways? It may be strange, but when your parents need comforting and they can't go to their friends - should they come to you? Should you be a shoulder to cry on?
I have a very emotional Mother who never has shied away from displaying her emotions. I don't see this as a problem though, not at all. At least you will always know her true feelings!
My Father on the other hand... I don't know if I've ever seen him cry. At all. I thought I saw a tear at Grandad's funeral but maybe it was just my hazy eyesight, blurred from my own tears.
I don't find it hard to cry, in fact I do it quite often. More so after having our baby granted but nevertheless, I think I'm an emotional person. Like my Mother I explode and go ape immediately. I'm working on it though, and I try to not get into combat when riled as it always end up in tears. (Not mine though - mwhooohahhhaaa!)
For over two weeks time my Mother has called me and cried down the phone.
Sobbing...
She sometimes cries so much we can't have a conversation. Often I just let her cry and just sit there in silence.
She made a rash (and rather foolish) decision that she is now regretting.
I don't blame her, I would never have done what she did, and sadly, she knows that too now.
But what do you say?
She keeps asking what she should do... I don't know what to say. I'm angry that she didn't talk it through with us first.
I keep telling her that she is an emotional person and NEVER should make any decisions when angry/sad/elated...
I've learned this the hard way and perhaps she still needs to learn this...
But what do I do? Now, when it's done and she wishes it wasn't, and she CAN'T STOP crying?
All I can do is: say that it'll be alright.... That everything will be okay and that things are probably better this way... That what's done is done....
Problem is though, it's utter bollocks and just something you say...
I DON'T think it's for the better! Things ARE NOT better this way!
But of course I won't tell her that... My job is to comfort, to support, to soothe...
God knows that we're not perfect and we should recieve the support and love when we make mistakes.
It's something you say because you love them and you don't want to hear or see them suffer.
Wednesday 15 September 2010
Back in the USSR!
Well, not really... Though it does feel a bit old and grey around here sometimes. Wouldn't go so far as to draw parallels to the Cold War though.
Things are pretty much back to normal and we're settling into our old routine. It was wonderful to see Brooks again and I can tell that Jackson's so happy to have daddy back in his life!
Not to mention that I am happy to get my lie-ins again! Admittedly - mum and dad helped out loads when we were in Sweden but it's different with your partner. It's kinda their job to give you a hand once and again, so you never have to feel bad about requesting a lie-in or two! (Though after a month away I have requested MANY lie-ins so far!!)
It was lovely to see our friends too and I realised that I've really missed them. We went around for a BBQ at Kirstie and Chris's house and stayed up for hours talking and drinking lager. Dom has grown SO much - it's incredible how much they change! In only a few weeks he almost looks like a completely different baby.
It's funny - it really isn't that long ago since Jackson was a baby but I've forgotten it all. People kept telling me that I would, but I somehow thought I would be different. Thruth is - You do! You forget how little they are, their needs and schedules, moods, the tiredness etc.
Speaking of little, we went over to Emma's house to see her newborn son Joe. He is so scrummy! And Emma looked amazing. Like, really amazing. She made it seem like a breeze to have two kids! She was all "nah, it's alright - nothing I can't handle, sort of thing."
Same with my other friend Alex actually. Now it must be said that little Rose is the kindest baby in the world, but when I saw her last week she didn't seemed fazed at all. She was all calm and seemed unbelievably happy. So refreshing!
I guess if you're a good mother to begin with, and settled and composed, then you there's nothing you can handle.
I just think of my sister who have brought up so many children and I never really appreciated how she made it all seem so easy. I'm sure it wasn't, but she never let anything on, not to me at least...
We are changing things in our house too. Just tonight Brooks is off getting our fireplace! Finally - yay!
We're also planning an Autumn clear out soon. Oh jolly, can't wait!
Things are pretty much back to normal and we're settling into our old routine. It was wonderful to see Brooks again and I can tell that Jackson's so happy to have daddy back in his life!
Not to mention that I am happy to get my lie-ins again! Admittedly - mum and dad helped out loads when we were in Sweden but it's different with your partner. It's kinda their job to give you a hand once and again, so you never have to feel bad about requesting a lie-in or two! (Though after a month away I have requested MANY lie-ins so far!!)
It was lovely to see our friends too and I realised that I've really missed them. We went around for a BBQ at Kirstie and Chris's house and stayed up for hours talking and drinking lager. Dom has grown SO much - it's incredible how much they change! In only a few weeks he almost looks like a completely different baby.
It's funny - it really isn't that long ago since Jackson was a baby but I've forgotten it all. People kept telling me that I would, but I somehow thought I would be different. Thruth is - You do! You forget how little they are, their needs and schedules, moods, the tiredness etc.
Speaking of little, we went over to Emma's house to see her newborn son Joe. He is so scrummy! And Emma looked amazing. Like, really amazing. She made it seem like a breeze to have two kids! She was all "nah, it's alright - nothing I can't handle, sort of thing."
Same with my other friend Alex actually. Now it must be said that little Rose is the kindest baby in the world, but when I saw her last week she didn't seemed fazed at all. She was all calm and seemed unbelievably happy. So refreshing!
I guess if you're a good mother to begin with, and settled and composed, then you there's nothing you can handle.
I just think of my sister who have brought up so many children and I never really appreciated how she made it all seem so easy. I'm sure it wasn't, but she never let anything on, not to me at least...
We are changing things in our house too. Just tonight Brooks is off getting our fireplace! Finally - yay!
We're also planning an Autumn clear out soon. Oh jolly, can't wait!
Monday 23 August 2010
New Additions
My family is growing!
I'm now an auntie again (for the 10th time!) and great aunt for the second, so I think I'm getting pretty good at this.
Little Charlie is big and snuggly, with lots of dark hair! I got plenty of cuddles and he was so nice to me and didn't cry once! Good lad!
Bro seemed like he was coping well with being a father of two. It can't be easy and I don't envy him! Though he has always had a good way with kids, they always love him, and I've no doubt he will settle in just fine.
Charlie was all but fresh from the hospital and it was lovely that I got to see the little bundle!
I met my Great nephew for the first time this week and he is an adorable little boy. He seemed to really like me too and flattered my ego with plenty of smiles and giggles. Another good lad!
All this baby business made me think of timings though.
There's that saying: "There's never a good time to have a baby!".
How does one know? I mean, what should one actually base this on?
Should you base it on your financial situation?
Can you actually afford another mouth to feed, nappies to be bought, an abundance of baby parahanelia to be purchased and invade your life and home?
Don't get me started on buggy prices!
Or perhaps you base it on your private life. Are you happy and content?
Having children, however lovely, does put a massive strain on your relationship. There are bound to be cracks and if there were some before then they may get even bigger.
On the other hand they may not - I have friends who say that their relationship changed for the better immediately after childbirth.
Then your home itself.. Have you got space? I never really consider this at first. I mean, how much space can a child take up right? The answer is: more space than you will ever have.
Then there's your career to consider.
Regardless of your profession and your arrangements at home - the woman is more likely to stay at home for the most part, if not for the whole part.
It is very hard to get back into the rat race and for someone like me, in the ever- searching-youth-elixir field then the clock is always against you.
There's only so much time I can take off in order not to fall off the bandwagon. Or choose to stay off.
However much I love acting and writing, my priorities have undoubtedly changed.
If it's your second then timings are crucial - especially as you have to factor in your firstborn. This is a whole different ballgame alltogether.
Do you go for the two year gap or the three year gap? Or do you wait even longer? Or, as for some of my friends, as little as a year?
You want to make sure that your first child isn't neglected when they baby arrives but also give space for number two to grow and feel special...
I guess, in the end, you just have to go with what feels best for you.
Perhaps there's never a good time. But then, maybe there's never a bad time either?
Thursday 19 August 2010
Photos!
I received some lovely, belated birthday gifts from my family, all very useful, nice and very generous, but I'm really excited about one of these:
I'm going to have some professional photos done!
Not for me mind you, but for Jackson. I've wanted to have these kind of photos done for absolutely ages so I'm tres excited!
My niece had some done of her daughter and they were beautiful.
Check out her website: http://annasphotography.blogg.se/
We had some studio photos done of Jackson when he was six months old so seems rather fitting that we take some outside ones now.
We're meant to meet this Sunday in a park in Norrköping so I'll update the blogg as and when I get the photos back.
I'm going to see my mini-nephew Levi today and I'm so excited! Can't wait to give him a snuggle! I've seen his photos on Facebook and he's super cute!
Also - completely unrelated - but I was asked to provide an I.D today when I wanted to buy cigarettes. Still have it, don't I?
;-)
I'm going to have some professional photos done!
Not for me mind you, but for Jackson. I've wanted to have these kind of photos done for absolutely ages so I'm tres excited!
My niece had some done of her daughter and they were beautiful.
Check out her website: http://annasphotography.blogg.se/
We had some studio photos done of Jackson when he was six months old so seems rather fitting that we take some outside ones now.
We're meant to meet this Sunday in a park in Norrköping so I'll update the blogg as and when I get the photos back.
I'm going to see my mini-nephew Levi today and I'm so excited! Can't wait to give him a snuggle! I've seen his photos on Facebook and he's super cute!
Also - completely unrelated - but I was asked to provide an I.D today when I wanted to buy cigarettes. Still have it, don't I?
;-)
Wednesday 18 August 2010
Scotland
So we're finally back in Sweden and it feels great. What a relief!
We came home via Edinburgh, which must be one of the most beautiful cities in the world, which we had been visiting for the notorious Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
Mum, Jackson and I were exploring the city and surroundings whilts Brooks was preparing for a month long stint at the Theatre Festival with "Rule of Three" and "Brooks and Boris".
We went on a coach trip to Glasgow, Loch Lomond and Sterling (and it's stunning castle!). It was a breath-taking tour and really did open up my eyes to the unspoiled beauty of Scotland.
For those of you who are not familiar with the Edinburgh festival - check it out: http://www.edfringe.com/
We had a great time, and it was a welcomed break after a week of teaching dance and drama at Summer school.
Summer school was a success, albeit a LOT of work! I was absolutely shattered at the end of it...
It was definitely worth it though and the kids did ever so well at their show. I was very proud!
Mum was over baby sitting and they had such a lovely time together. He was so happy to see her and they where out walking around the park every day.
Once in Sweden my dear family have been visiting us and Jackson has been spoiled rotten! It's been fantastic seeing them all and I realise how much I actually miss them.
Mum and dad have been helping out loads with Jackson so that I can have lie-ins and I'm so grateful. It's hard taking care of a child on your own so any help is welcomed!
I got to sleep in to eleven the other day! Eleven! (My family and old friends will say that I always used to sleep that long... Definintely pre-baby!!)
Check out the photos from Scotland!
Tuesday 20 July 2010
Signing for babies?
Jackson signing "CAT"
Jackson and I have been going to baby Singing classes now for some time and I must admit, I was a bit sceptical in the beginning....
I mean seriously, why and what's the point right?
Well, I have been pleasantly surprised and I now swear by it!
Jackson signs all day long - he absolutely loves it! He signs when he's tired, hungry, thirsty, needs a nappy change and he signs things like airplane, cat (his favourite - at the moment all animals are cats... Must work on that one!), car and biscuit.
I was a bit surprised when he started using the signs at home.. I guess I wasn't sure that he knew what he was doing, if he was just using random gestures - but I can tell know that this is his way of communicating his needs to me.
It's truly amazing and as he's so good at it, I feel encouraged to do it more too.
This particular signing class is based on Makaton and BSL and so it's easy and straightforward. Sadly, I won't be able to use it for Swedish as it's designed for the British language (although some signs are based on ASL!).
I'm really keen to get something similar started in Sweden actually... Does anyone know if there are classes??
Anyway, I've been reading lots of articles on the subject and here are some interesting factors:
1. Signing with you baby does not mean that your child won't learn how to speak or slower. On the contrary - it has proven to improve language and comprehension skills.
2. Researchers found that eight-year-olds who had learned a simple form of baby sign language using invented signs did better on IQ tests than comparable children who had not learned baby sign language.
I get very excited and passionate about something when I can see that it works so I can't stress this enough - try it! It really does work!
One thing to keep in mind though:
1. BE CONSISTENT.
It'll only work if you keep doing it, again and again and again...
A little bit more info if you are interested:
http://www.singandsign.co.uk/index.php
http://www.makaton.org/about/about.htm
Monday 5 July 2010
Busy be me
Wowser! It's been a busy few weeks!
For my birthday my friends and I went to the All Star Lanes in Holborn which was fantastic!! I love the American fifties feel to the place and the food and drinks were great. My team won the bowling challenge which was a bonus too. I didn't manage a strike but a few spares so all good there!
(Also - as it was my birthday I got a free drink and a birthday card from All star - nice touch!)
I spent my actual birthday in a lovely Spa Hotel with B and the wee man - AMAZING!! We had room service, went swimming in teh pool and went shopping in St Albans. My boyfriend is the best!
Maria and Marlene were over from Sweden and we had a great weekened! It was so much fun - we went to Camden Town for some shopping and people watching. Always a great day out!
My newphew Alex and Josefin have been visiting too. We had a great time - they were super helpfull and very generous so we were all sad to see them too. (Especially the wee man who clearly has a soft spot for Josefin - it must be all teh hugs and cuddles she gives him!!)
It was a fun filled week and although Jackson was recovering from his op - he managed very well.
I went with them to London Bridge and teh London Dungeons. I've been many times and i still LOVE IT!
Jackson had his operation and although it was the most stressful, weirdest and emotional so far (bar giving birth!!)- it all went well. I'm so, so proud of my little boy. So brave! I'm so blessed to have him.
Back to "normal" now (whatever that may be!) and at the moment we're plugging the Summer school... Fingers super crossed!!
Also - job interview tomorrow so think happy thoughts for me!
For my birthday my friends and I went to the All Star Lanes in Holborn which was fantastic!! I love the American fifties feel to the place and the food and drinks were great. My team won the bowling challenge which was a bonus too. I didn't manage a strike but a few spares so all good there!
(Also - as it was my birthday I got a free drink and a birthday card from All star - nice touch!)
I spent my actual birthday in a lovely Spa Hotel with B and the wee man - AMAZING!! We had room service, went swimming in teh pool and went shopping in St Albans. My boyfriend is the best!
Maria and Marlene were over from Sweden and we had a great weekened! It was so much fun - we went to Camden Town for some shopping and people watching. Always a great day out!
My newphew Alex and Josefin have been visiting too. We had a great time - they were super helpfull and very generous so we were all sad to see them too. (Especially the wee man who clearly has a soft spot for Josefin - it must be all teh hugs and cuddles she gives him!!)
It was a fun filled week and although Jackson was recovering from his op - he managed very well.
I went with them to London Bridge and teh London Dungeons. I've been many times and i still LOVE IT!
Jackson had his operation and although it was the most stressful, weirdest and emotional so far (bar giving birth!!)- it all went well. I'm so, so proud of my little boy. So brave! I'm so blessed to have him.
Back to "normal" now (whatever that may be!) and at the moment we're plugging the Summer school... Fingers super crossed!!
Also - job interview tomorrow so think happy thoughts for me!
Tuesday 1 June 2010
I was trying to find some artistic inspiration last night but somehow the TV kept pulling me away. I need to try and be more resilient, I have to get this done and I keep putting it off! Argh! It's as if I need and want stress in my life to function.
Mind you, working under a deadline does make me feel like it's a "proper job" rather than just writing as a hobby.
B had a stand up gig in town so he came home late which should have given me tons of time to finish the piece. I must put away some time today and whizz through it.
Glee was very good though - not only beacuse I love Idina Menzel so much but I do have a soft spot for Lady GaGa.
I have been thinking of other endeavours to embark upon aswell... I went to a car boot sale this weekend and it made me think that I could make stuff and sell it. But what? And it must be said that I have zero patience so it needs to be something quick and easy... Hard nut that one...
Any suggestions?
Mind you, working under a deadline does make me feel like it's a "proper job" rather than just writing as a hobby.
B had a stand up gig in town so he came home late which should have given me tons of time to finish the piece. I must put away some time today and whizz through it.
Glee was very good though - not only beacuse I love Idina Menzel so much but I do have a soft spot for Lady GaGa.
I have been thinking of other endeavours to embark upon aswell... I went to a car boot sale this weekend and it made me think that I could make stuff and sell it. But what? And it must be said that I have zero patience so it needs to be something quick and easy... Hard nut that one...
Any suggestions?
Sunday 30 May 2010
Carboot sale Bargain!
Someone wise said once that Life is like a rollercoaster.
Well... Actually I think it was Ronan from Westlife, but I do think it sort of hits home all the same.
B, Jackson and I went to a Carboot sale this morning - finally! I have been wanting to go forever and so this morning we went. It didn't disappoint - there were tons of people everywhere selling anything from prams and strollers to furniture. We did bag some bargains but most importantly it made me think of things I coudl make and sell myself. I have a few ideas, so will have to try and focus them a bit more...
We went for a lovely pub lunch and then B had to leave for rehearsals.
Jackson and I decided to go for a walk around the park. It was absolutely rammed with people - as is expected from a Bank Holiday - and so we sat down to have a bottle. (Jackson that is - not me!).
I suddenly felt really sad, sitting there on my own with my baby. I miss my family and friends in Sweden terribly, but more so on these days when I'm on my own.
We went on the swings and slides and there was a very enthusiastic Dad there playing with his daughter. It was so lovely to see and sadly isn't something you see much of in England.
Righto - now I must get back to my play writing - I have a deadline!
Well... Actually I think it was Ronan from Westlife, but I do think it sort of hits home all the same.
B, Jackson and I went to a Carboot sale this morning - finally! I have been wanting to go forever and so this morning we went. It didn't disappoint - there were tons of people everywhere selling anything from prams and strollers to furniture. We did bag some bargains but most importantly it made me think of things I coudl make and sell myself. I have a few ideas, so will have to try and focus them a bit more...
We went for a lovely pub lunch and then B had to leave for rehearsals.
Jackson and I decided to go for a walk around the park. It was absolutely rammed with people - as is expected from a Bank Holiday - and so we sat down to have a bottle. (Jackson that is - not me!).
I suddenly felt really sad, sitting there on my own with my baby. I miss my family and friends in Sweden terribly, but more so on these days when I'm on my own.
We went on the swings and slides and there was a very enthusiastic Dad there playing with his daughter. It was so lovely to see and sadly isn't something you see much of in England.
Righto - now I must get back to my play writing - I have a deadline!
Saturday 29 May 2010
I thought I would take this rare oppertunity and discuss something a bit "taboo" - namely parent rivalry.
If you're not yet a parent, then don't stop reading though, as some of this might apply to you, particurarly if you have pets or partners. (And to be fair - you might soon see it for real too!).
It's a strange thing, the parent competing, beacuse it's like we suddenly behave like our children, in truth mostly worse, and the funny thing is: we keep reprimanding our chilren for this behaviour although we do it ourselves! We are such hipocrites!
No wonder our chilren don't listen. They must be thinking:
"Well, mummy if you are going to do that - why can't I??!
And don't think for a second that this sort of childish behaviour is only contained to the innocence of the "stranger mum playground" scenario. Oh no, more commonly these ridiculous battles are fought on homeground.
So what's the point then you may ask?
I have no idea to tell you the truth. But I suppose it's beacuse your offspring is (in your eyes) an extension of you. All your desires, wants, dreams and wishes all whisked beautifully togther like a nice sponge cake into one. It's someone, something precious which can't be touched/changed/challenged.
As we feel so strongly for these creatures our emotions highten and our rational and normal mind caves in. We start to believe that our chilren truly are:
The most beautiful, The smartest, The most important.
And guess what - it should be like that. They are all of these things.
The difference is that we only think that of our own. Like Michael Mcintyre said once:
"I only have love for this child."
If you're not yet a parent, then don't stop reading though, as some of this might apply to you, particurarly if you have pets or partners. (And to be fair - you might soon see it for real too!).
It's a strange thing, the parent competing, beacuse it's like we suddenly behave like our children, in truth mostly worse, and the funny thing is: we keep reprimanding our chilren for this behaviour although we do it ourselves! We are such hipocrites!
No wonder our chilren don't listen. They must be thinking:
"Well, mummy if you are going to do that - why can't I??!
And don't think for a second that this sort of childish behaviour is only contained to the innocence of the "stranger mum playground" scenario. Oh no, more commonly these ridiculous battles are fought on homeground.
So what's the point then you may ask?
I have no idea to tell you the truth. But I suppose it's beacuse your offspring is (in your eyes) an extension of you. All your desires, wants, dreams and wishes all whisked beautifully togther like a nice sponge cake into one. It's someone, something precious which can't be touched/changed/challenged.
As we feel so strongly for these creatures our emotions highten and our rational and normal mind caves in. We start to believe that our chilren truly are:
The most beautiful, The smartest, The most important.
And guess what - it should be like that. They are all of these things.
The difference is that we only think that of our own. Like Michael Mcintyre said once:
"I only have love for this child."
Operation: Cancelled
After getting geared up both mentally and physically - loading up bags with clothes, dummies, bottles and comforters and stressing like a Madhatter to the hospital, it turns out the operation has to be postponed. To be continued...
Jesus. So not only do we have to go through the whole process again, but Jackson's cough has now proven to be "serious" meaning that I am not just a over-sensitive, paranoid hen mum.
As the hospital nurse was going through the procedure with us, giving Jackson the magic cream (to nub pain from the needle - OUCH!), handing him his hospital gown and whatnots we mentioned his cough and she looked "concerened".
It's the look that all parents fear the most. My heart felt like it would burst out of my chest and I had the sudden urge to throttle her, in lack of other things to do. She nodded slowly, listened to his chest and tilted her head.
"He sounds chesty." She said slowly.
Oh yeah? Hadn't noticed, well done Nurse Sherlock!
She said that the anesthetist would have to call the situation and when the very chirpy man appeared he deemed the cough to be too serious to ignore. (Who in Gods name is chirpy - at work - at seven in the morning?! Dodgy I reckon.)
You know, it was weird. In a way I'm glad that they cancelled the operation as it would be unsafe, but on the other hand it means we will have to wait again so I'm feeling kind of torn and confused.
I have spent most of yesterday and today taking my aggressions out on Brooks instead, something which I'm sure he appreciates.
So, to summerize: Jackson and I will have to re-energize, penicillin him up, and we're now looking forward to not sleeping the week of the 25th June.
Jesus. So not only do we have to go through the whole process again, but Jackson's cough has now proven to be "serious" meaning that I am not just a over-sensitive, paranoid hen mum.
As the hospital nurse was going through the procedure with us, giving Jackson the magic cream (to nub pain from the needle - OUCH!), handing him his hospital gown and whatnots we mentioned his cough and she looked "concerened".
It's the look that all parents fear the most. My heart felt like it would burst out of my chest and I had the sudden urge to throttle her, in lack of other things to do. She nodded slowly, listened to his chest and tilted her head.
"He sounds chesty." She said slowly.
Oh yeah? Hadn't noticed, well done Nurse Sherlock!
She said that the anesthetist would have to call the situation and when the very chirpy man appeared he deemed the cough to be too serious to ignore. (Who in Gods name is chirpy - at work - at seven in the morning?! Dodgy I reckon.)
You know, it was weird. In a way I'm glad that they cancelled the operation as it would be unsafe, but on the other hand it means we will have to wait again so I'm feeling kind of torn and confused.
I have spent most of yesterday and today taking my aggressions out on Brooks instead, something which I'm sure he appreciates.
So, to summerize: Jackson and I will have to re-energize, penicillin him up, and we're now looking forward to not sleeping the week of the 25th June.
Wednesday 26 May 2010
Photos and fatness
I mean seriously - how depressing is Facebook sometimes? Or more to the point - the five million photos of you on Facebook. I was looking through some of my old photos, as I was trying to find a good "party themed" one and boy did I have to look faaaaaaaaaaaaaar back...
I'm talking years. Goddamn, I am a bit rusty on the good old party front.
Not only that, but I looked so much better back then. Jesus, having a baby really do pile them on. Yes, yes, we all know that and it's only "Babyweight", you'll be back into shape soon... Bla, bla, bla.. But hang on... Erm... Something's wrong here. Oh yeah - I had Jackson over a year ago. The ugly reality is that: I CANNOT BLAME THE BABY WEIGHT ANYMORE. Jackson is technically a TODDLER. Bugger-ee-do.
Depressing.
(Not the having Jackson - part, the fact that I look like a whale - part).
Speaking of parties though - I went to my friend James' birthday party BBQ this weekend and Mummy got wasted!
But it was a rubbish drunk, you know the kind that hits you when you leave so I spent the whole journey home plastered and talking bollocks to B and then was sick twice when I got home.
Rock n' Roll.
Not only that - but baby J didn't care that mummy had one (or five) too many glasses of vino blanco, he was up at 7.30 as usual demanding absolute surrender to his every whim and needs.
Mum's here at the moment and as usual it is BLISS. She's sorting out our garden, thank God, as my fingers are most definitely not green. They are a healthy pink shade, (as is normal), but anything green, small-ish and living that my hands touch die... I just can't keep flowers or plants alive, they all finally crumble and die. (Part from the few cactus I have - sturdy buggers).
Mum babysat last night as Brooks and I went to see Flight of the Concords at Wembley. They were friggin AWESOME!!! I had such a nice time, thank you Carrie for sorting out the tickets!
B's having his leaving do tonight. It's weird to think that he'll be off work at the same time as me! (WHich reminds me that I need to find a job pronto!)
I'm just praying that someone will read my shorst and go: "Hey, she's good! We'll pay her a million pounds in royalties!"
A girl can dream right?
Friday 23 April 2010
The Sunshine of My life
Well - Jackson's Birthday weekend was absolutely amazing!
Brooks took Friday off work so we had a whole day as a family. We had a lovely lunch in a restuarant (Jackson first proper meal out), and then we headed home to his mountain of presents!
Later, Granny and Gramps had invited us over for a Birthday lunch. It was lovely and Jackson had yet another mountain of presents to get through! Amongts other things he got this fantastic red trike and we couldn't wait to try it out.
Jackson also got a car, (for him to drive - can't wait to use that too!), swimming lessons with Aquavie, swimming stuff to go with the lessons, clothes, clothes and clothes, books, a bubble machine and toys.
On Saturday we took the Trike for a spin around the block and then we had a nice and relaxing day out. We did some shopping and strolled around in the gorgeous sunshine! Lovely!
On the Sunday we had booked a room at Pizza Express at 12.30. I didn't really know what to expect as Brooks had arranged it all - but it was fantastic! It was such a beautiful space, on the second floor with doors leading out to a patio, and we had the best weather ever!
So many people turned out, I couldn't believe it... There were about 45 people there and some of the people I hadn't seen in ages too. Jackson is one loved, little boy!
I was so touched I actually cried. Our friends are so generous and loving! Simply the best "borrowed" family one could ever wish for!
Jackson did really well, it was getting a bit much at the end, what with all the people and stuff, but he did ever so well.
When we got home we openened more presents and our friends were so generous! Jackson has so many more toys to play with now - he loves it!
I can't really believe that my little man is growing up so, so fast... A year old already.
All I know, that he is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me.
He the Sunshine of my Life.
Brooks took Friday off work so we had a whole day as a family. We had a lovely lunch in a restuarant (Jackson first proper meal out), and then we headed home to his mountain of presents!
Later, Granny and Gramps had invited us over for a Birthday lunch. It was lovely and Jackson had yet another mountain of presents to get through! Amongts other things he got this fantastic red trike and we couldn't wait to try it out.
Jackson also got a car, (for him to drive - can't wait to use that too!), swimming lessons with Aquavie, swimming stuff to go with the lessons, clothes, clothes and clothes, books, a bubble machine and toys.
On Saturday we took the Trike for a spin around the block and then we had a nice and relaxing day out. We did some shopping and strolled around in the gorgeous sunshine! Lovely!
On the Sunday we had booked a room at Pizza Express at 12.30. I didn't really know what to expect as Brooks had arranged it all - but it was fantastic! It was such a beautiful space, on the second floor with doors leading out to a patio, and we had the best weather ever!
So many people turned out, I couldn't believe it... There were about 45 people there and some of the people I hadn't seen in ages too. Jackson is one loved, little boy!
I was so touched I actually cried. Our friends are so generous and loving! Simply the best "borrowed" family one could ever wish for!
Jackson did really well, it was getting a bit much at the end, what with all the people and stuff, but he did ever so well.
When we got home we openened more presents and our friends were so generous! Jackson has so many more toys to play with now - he loves it!
I can't really believe that my little man is growing up so, so fast... A year old already.
All I know, that he is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me.
He the Sunshine of my Life.
Thursday 15 April 2010
Birthdays
Jackson and I went to a birthday party at Harry's house today and we had so much fun!
It's great that Jackson has so many little friends to play with - and it's lovely for me too- as the mums have become beloved friends.
We met when we were pregnant and then through birth and now their first birthdays!
Going through pregnancy and having a baby are such life changing events - and as such, these women (and babies) and very dear to me.
Harry's granny had given him a ball pit and the kids loved it!
Next on teh agenda is Jackson's birthday on Sunday - Can't wait!
Thursday 8 April 2010
Busy bee
These coming weeks are going to very busy!
This weekend we’re going to a fundraiser for B’s sketch show in
Then on Sunday we’re going to a Christening and then a birthday party for
As he was born in April, and subsequently all his little friends were born at the same time, we have tons of birthday parties to attend.
I can’t believe is that
We’re having a party at Pizza Express on the 18th and at the moment it looks as if we’ll have 40 people attending – yikes!
I’m humbled that so many of our friends are coming and we’re lucky to have such wonderful and loving friends.
Then we’re off to
My life is so fantastic right now – I can honestly say that I’m very happy!
(Also, have lost half a stone in baby weight - being busy is clearly the best diet in the world!)
Saturday 13 March 2010
Mormor anlander!
Yippiee! Mum's coming tonight and I can't wait! It's been so long since she was here and I can't wait for her to see Jackson.
He's grown so much lately and he's turning into a proper little boy!
Speaking of which, we went to a baby birthday party (the first of many - we have 6 booked already!! Eeek, expensive business this!), and as always we went with Jackson best mate, Harry H. We got to the party and most of the babies where a bit older than him so I thought that he might be intimidated... I couldn't have been more wrong!!
He jumped off my lap and was crawling around with the older children, stealing their toys and messing about. Although I had to keep moving him away from the kids when he got too rough with them, I was so proud! He's such a tough little boy and so very confident! He's also very socialble and keeps flirting with all the ladies. :-)
Farmor bought him some new shoes from Clarks and these fab leather slippers, amazing! Thank you Granny!
But like I said, today Mormor will arrive and I really can't wait! As the weather here is so gorgeous I'm planning long walks around the Drome and perhaps a little visit to London...
Friday 12 March 2010
Snow...
Har ar tva filmer - den ena fran ett Svenskt vinterland och den andra sno (?!) i England...
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Thursday 4 March 2010
7 Truths
7 Truths
1. I Love my job
Fact. I absolutely love teaching my kids at drama school. I think it's a rare thing nowadays which is a shame. I still act and write too which is fantastic.
2. Self obsessed people - ARGH!
Cannot stand them. Newsflash - The world doesn't revolve around you, most people are too busy with their own lives to give a monkies. Sadly, in my line of work, they are everywhere!
3. I Love to be Right
Can't help it, but I do love when I'm right. Which I am most of the time.
4. I Love Planning
This is a bit of a secret one, and most people wouldn't know this - but I actually love to plan things! I tend to pretend I'm a spur of the moment person, but in all honestly I'm all about planning... And planning... And planning...
5. I Love to throw a Party
I absolutely love to throw a good party and to have my friends and family over. If there's an occassion, (any occassion will do), you can be sure that I'm planning a big party! I've had a few through the years and now with Jackson in my life there will be lots and lots more parties in the future! His first birthday party is coming up soon...
6. I Love to try new things/experience new things
I'm always looking for new things to learn and read up on. The next item on my loooooong list is scuba diving and sign language... I honestly think that we are here to learn, and it will only make your life richer and more meaningful. One secret fave of mine is Science mags... Yup, it's true.
7. I like the Supernatural
There are so many things we can't explain and I don't believe in "what you see is what you get". I think Spirituality is very important and we have somehow lost it - or some of it anyway. I'm not sure exactly what I believe in yet, I'm still searching and shopping around but the supernatural is intriguing... The truth is out there.
Thursday 18 February 2010
Crawling, walking, talking
Lock every cupboard, close every door, move any liquids, powders, grains and whatsnots from the floor that are slightly edible, Hoover three times a day (Jeez), and mop the floor four times a day and never, never drop your guard.
Yes - that's right - my baby is now crawling like there's no tomorrow! He suddenly just realised what had to be done from months of shuffling and comado crawling. We got home from Sweden on the Sunday, I put him down on the floor and off he went - Amazing!
It's great to have him finally moving around, albeit dangerous as everything is a hazard!
But he didn't stop there. No, two days after he had sussed the crawling malarky he decided to upgrade is now crusing around the flat. He pulls himself up, walks around the first sofa, one to the next sofa by the window, then the table - round and round in a circle and he seems utterly content with himself.
It's absolutely amazing when you see your child progress and I'm very excited to see what's next.
The BAFTA's on Sunday - I'm SO excited! Not only is my dear friend P and C coming on Friday to stay, but we have a baby sitter OVERNIGHT (check us out) which means I will have my first full night of sleep in about a year!! AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Then again, I am going to the BAFTA's and intend to party all night long! So maybe there won't be time for any sleep after all? I can't wait to see all the celebs, so exciting! I love, love, love the awards!
Then daddy arrives on Monday which is fab. He's been looking forward to seeing Jackson so it's going to be really nice having him here. I'm planning to go into London and do some shopping, (albeit window - shopping), and maybe see some sights. Depends what dad would like to do actually, must remember to ask him today!
Yes - that's right - my baby is now crawling like there's no tomorrow! He suddenly just realised what had to be done from months of shuffling and comado crawling. We got home from Sweden on the Sunday, I put him down on the floor and off he went - Amazing!
It's great to have him finally moving around, albeit dangerous as everything is a hazard!
But he didn't stop there. No, two days after he had sussed the crawling malarky he decided to upgrade is now crusing around the flat. He pulls himself up, walks around the first sofa, one to the next sofa by the window, then the table - round and round in a circle and he seems utterly content with himself.
It's absolutely amazing when you see your child progress and I'm very excited to see what's next.
The BAFTA's on Sunday - I'm SO excited! Not only is my dear friend P and C coming on Friday to stay, but we have a baby sitter OVERNIGHT (check us out) which means I will have my first full night of sleep in about a year!! AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Then again, I am going to the BAFTA's and intend to party all night long! So maybe there won't be time for any sleep after all? I can't wait to see all the celebs, so exciting! I love, love, love the awards!
Then daddy arrives on Monday which is fab. He's been looking forward to seeing Jackson so it's going to be really nice having him here. I'm planning to go into London and do some shopping, (albeit window - shopping), and maybe see some sights. Depends what dad would like to do actually, must remember to ask him today!
Monday 8 February 2010
Back in the UK
We arrived back home on Sunday and it was lovely to see B again. Both J and I have missed him lots and lots and so it was wonderful to spend a whole day, just the three of us.
I had such an amazing time with my family. It was really lovely to just hang out with everyone and it's great with such a supportive lot! We had a family gathering on the Sunday after we arrived, and J was overjoyed to see everyone. He was on his best behaviour and, as always, stole all the lime light from mummy. (His parents are actors after all!).
He's not been so well but he was soldiering on and obviously mormor and morfar fussed over him!
We made some lovely pizzas (home made pizzas- so much better aren't they?!) and ate too much nice things, as per usual.
For the rest of the week I tried to re charge my batteries. It's so amazing to have mum around. She's naturally so used to taking care of J and he LOOOOOVES her. It's so funny to watch them, they truly have that special bond... Perhaps it's because she took care of him for so long, I don't know, but it's great to watch them. Anyhow, it gave me a welcomed break! I even managed to get some writing done, something I was mega chuffed about.
Mum will come over to see us in March, and I couldn't be happier. It was incredibly hard to leave after a great week together and she was so upset. I hate the leaving part, always have, always will but at the moment England is my home.
I also had time to go to the cinema which was such a treat - thank you dear niece!
We had a Birthday Party for the kids (and Al) on the Saturday where I learned how to play a new card game - I'm so so so hooked!
My sister, God bless her, was coaching me and somehow managed to pull me out of the depths of gloom and doom. She reminded me of who I am - something that recent events had overshadowed. She truly is an amazing person and I say this again - YOU should be a Motivational Coach.
"You were born under a lucky star..." Those are the exact words on one of those cards you get from a wishing machine at fairgrounds. (Like the one in "Big"). I randomly got it at a fairground in Illinois ages ago.
I need to remind myself of that and everything will fall into place. I guess it can be easy to lose track though and that's when your loved ones step in and help you find your way back....
Weirdly - I met a woman on the flight home that works as Motivational Speaker. She was amazing, one of those "go get!" women with a will of steel. We spent the whole journey (J fell asleep!!) talking about life and how to get motivated, staying focused and keep fighting... Hm... Thinking back it was odd that she chose to help me, sit next to me for the duration of the flight, and talk about how to get back on track? Perhaps Cosmos is trying to tell me something?
So, things are going to change around here. For the better!!
I had such an amazing time with my family. It was really lovely to just hang out with everyone and it's great with such a supportive lot! We had a family gathering on the Sunday after we arrived, and J was overjoyed to see everyone. He was on his best behaviour and, as always, stole all the lime light from mummy. (His parents are actors after all!).
He's not been so well but he was soldiering on and obviously mormor and morfar fussed over him!
We made some lovely pizzas (home made pizzas- so much better aren't they?!) and ate too much nice things, as per usual.
For the rest of the week I tried to re charge my batteries. It's so amazing to have mum around. She's naturally so used to taking care of J and he LOOOOOVES her. It's so funny to watch them, they truly have that special bond... Perhaps it's because she took care of him for so long, I don't know, but it's great to watch them. Anyhow, it gave me a welcomed break! I even managed to get some writing done, something I was mega chuffed about.
Mum will come over to see us in March, and I couldn't be happier. It was incredibly hard to leave after a great week together and she was so upset. I hate the leaving part, always have, always will but at the moment England is my home.
I also had time to go to the cinema which was such a treat - thank you dear niece!
We had a Birthday Party for the kids (and Al) on the Saturday where I learned how to play a new card game - I'm so so so hooked!
My sister, God bless her, was coaching me and somehow managed to pull me out of the depths of gloom and doom. She reminded me of who I am - something that recent events had overshadowed. She truly is an amazing person and I say this again - YOU should be a Motivational Coach.
"You were born under a lucky star..." Those are the exact words on one of those cards you get from a wishing machine at fairgrounds. (Like the one in "Big"). I randomly got it at a fairground in Illinois ages ago.
I need to remind myself of that and everything will fall into place. I guess it can be easy to lose track though and that's when your loved ones step in and help you find your way back....
Weirdly - I met a woman on the flight home that works as Motivational Speaker. She was amazing, one of those "go get!" women with a will of steel. We spent the whole journey (J fell asleep!!) talking about life and how to get motivated, staying focused and keep fighting... Hm... Thinking back it was odd that she chose to help me, sit next to me for the duration of the flight, and talk about how to get back on track? Perhaps Cosmos is trying to tell me something?
So, things are going to change around here. For the better!!
Monday 18 January 2010
Should be writing
I should be writing but I can't seem to bring myself to get going. Actually there are tons of things I should be doing. J is having a little power nap and as I've already cleaned up the flat I thought I could get some me-time!
B has been really unwell all weekend. It started last week but escalated over the weekend and he was really poorly. It was unfortunate, and so typical. He also had to rehearse this Sunday so he was off all day. Luckily Farmor and Farfar babysat J so that I could clean up this mess!
The BAFTA'S are coming up soon. P and C are travelling over to see us which is great! I just hope that B can sort out tickets - it would be amazing! The Golden Globes are today so it'll be interesting to see where the awards go... I looooove watching the awards ceremony, it's so shiny and fake! Love it!
I really should get going with my writing.... Might just phone mum instead though for a little chat...
B has been really unwell all weekend. It started last week but escalated over the weekend and he was really poorly. It was unfortunate, and so typical. He also had to rehearse this Sunday so he was off all day. Luckily Farmor and Farfar babysat J so that I could clean up this mess!
The BAFTA'S are coming up soon. P and C are travelling over to see us which is great! I just hope that B can sort out tickets - it would be amazing! The Golden Globes are today so it'll be interesting to see where the awards go... I looooove watching the awards ceremony, it's so shiny and fake! Love it!
I really should get going with my writing.... Might just phone mum instead though for a little chat...
Thursday 14 January 2010
Juggling things
My son is amazing. He was sat in the car all afternoon as I was taking T around the area to do leaflet drops. I didn't want to do it, but we have to get more kids to sign up to our school - so have no choice. Bless him, he was a bit upset at time and had enough at around four but we had managed to target most schools by then.
We'll have to do some more leafleting tomorrow, fingers crossed that they provide some interest!
It was B's birthday yesterday so his mum, stepdad and Granny came over and we all had a curry and watched the football. (Unfortunately Liverpool lost - darn!). It was lovely but by eleven thirthy we were both absolutely knackared! We had planned to watch a film but I think we'll have to wait until the weekend.
Actually - I think we all need a holiday. We're both so, so stressed and it's really taking its toll. I just hope that it'll all get sorted. We're meant to start on the 30th... Eeek!
I'm finding it hard to juggle everything at the moment. Looking after a baby is a full time job in itself and then having to sort stuff on the side is hard work. Mind you, if I intend to work from home I need to learn how to manage. B's having a mare at work too - so that's not helping.
It can only getbetter from here though right?
We'll have to do some more leafleting tomorrow, fingers crossed that they provide some interest!
It was B's birthday yesterday so his mum, stepdad and Granny came over and we all had a curry and watched the football. (Unfortunately Liverpool lost - darn!). It was lovely but by eleven thirthy we were both absolutely knackared! We had planned to watch a film but I think we'll have to wait until the weekend.
Actually - I think we all need a holiday. We're both so, so stressed and it's really taking its toll. I just hope that it'll all get sorted. We're meant to start on the 30th... Eeek!
I'm finding it hard to juggle everything at the moment. Looking after a baby is a full time job in itself and then having to sort stuff on the side is hard work. Mind you, if I intend to work from home I need to learn how to manage. B's having a mare at work too - so that's not helping.
It can only getbetter from here though right?
Wednesday 13 January 2010
Birthday boy
They say that If you can't win then join.
Well, I don't think that's true. That would only put you on their level, which is not acceptable. That saying is only true when you are levelled with an opponent worthy of a fight. Or to put it simply, having a fight worth fighting over. If neither applies surely you spend the rest of the days ignoring them/it?
It is B's birthday today and after staying up till the small hours last night I was completely out of it. I mean, I hardly heard the baby monitor I was that tired!
It's been so tough not having Brooks around at all in the evenings - I'm completely shattered. (He has been rehearsing and working late every evening since Saturday).
I felt bad though as he didn't get his breakfast in bed however I promised I would make it up for him this weekend.
It's also very stressful with work as we're still trying to get this drama thing off the ground. I must somehow get the parents to realise what a great school we are... I'm running out of options!
We're hopefully going out tonight as his mum and stepdad are coming around to baby sit and this Saturday Jackson's godparents are babysitting. (although at this rate we may just go to bed at eight!)
Anyway, Saturday I have booked a table at the Clarendon! Yeay! We have been wanting to go for ages so I'm really looking forward to it.
Hubby seemed happy about his presents too - he got some Molton Brown stuff, Diesel perfume, a Gap jumper (from mum), a DVD and of course the dinner out on Saturday...
I must remember to pack the presents for niece's daughter and my sisters gang of kids. Jackson and I are back to Sweden on the 30th! I can't wait!
Bless mum - she rings everyday asking about Bubba. It's hard as she was so close to him, being the full time carer and now nothing. It's very hard for me too of course, as I miss her terribly, and I'm so glad we could have her.
We have started organising stuff for the Christening in early May.
Or, rather we have invited the Brits now! C, (aka the hairy Godmother), has been sorting stuff since September last year - bless her! She's been talking to the priest so she actually knows more than me at the moment!
Anyway, like I said we have extended the invite to our friends here in Britain.
So far quiet a few have said they are coming which is very exciting! We have a venue and now all I need to do is sort the flights/food/accommodation etc.
Most of our friends will stay with my family and friends in Sweden and the food will be supplied by my family too.
I just need to convince B that smorgas tarta is the way forward...
Well, I don't think that's true. That would only put you on their level, which is not acceptable. That saying is only true when you are levelled with an opponent worthy of a fight. Or to put it simply, having a fight worth fighting over. If neither applies surely you spend the rest of the days ignoring them/it?
It is B's birthday today and after staying up till the small hours last night I was completely out of it. I mean, I hardly heard the baby monitor I was that tired!
It's been so tough not having Brooks around at all in the evenings - I'm completely shattered. (He has been rehearsing and working late every evening since Saturday).
I felt bad though as he didn't get his breakfast in bed however I promised I would make it up for him this weekend.
It's also very stressful with work as we're still trying to get this drama thing off the ground. I must somehow get the parents to realise what a great school we are... I'm running out of options!
We're hopefully going out tonight as his mum and stepdad are coming around to baby sit and this Saturday Jackson's godparents are babysitting. (although at this rate we may just go to bed at eight!)
Anyway, Saturday I have booked a table at the Clarendon! Yeay! We have been wanting to go for ages so I'm really looking forward to it.
Hubby seemed happy about his presents too - he got some Molton Brown stuff, Diesel perfume, a Gap jumper (from mum), a DVD and of course the dinner out on Saturday...
I must remember to pack the presents for niece's daughter and my sisters gang of kids. Jackson and I are back to Sweden on the 30th! I can't wait!
Bless mum - she rings everyday asking about Bubba. It's hard as she was so close to him, being the full time carer and now nothing. It's very hard for me too of course, as I miss her terribly, and I'm so glad we could have her.
We have started organising stuff for the Christening in early May.
Or, rather we have invited the Brits now! C, (aka the hairy Godmother), has been sorting stuff since September last year - bless her! She's been talking to the priest so she actually knows more than me at the moment!
Anyway, like I said we have extended the invite to our friends here in Britain.
So far quiet a few have said they are coming which is very exciting! We have a venue and now all I need to do is sort the flights/food/accommodation etc.
Most of our friends will stay with my family and friends in Sweden and the food will be supplied by my family too.
I just need to convince B that smorgas tarta is the way forward...
Monday 4 January 2010
Patience is a virtue
Vi far provningar varje dag sags det ju och jag tror nog att det stammer. Idag var min forsta dag tillbaka pa "jobbet". Mamma ar nu hemma i Sverige sa jag har inte langre hennes stod och jag kan lungt saga att vi saknar henne.
Jag vet att hon saknar oss ocksa och vi ses ju snart igen, men det ar jobbigt. Jag onskar ofta att vi bodde narmare, sa att vi kunde ses mer regelbundet, men for tillfallet sa ar det sa har. B och jag har forstars pratat om att bo i Sverige och det ar inte helt uteslutet. Han forstar hur viktigt det ar for mig att vara nara min familj - men sjalvklart sa ar det ju samma for honom.
Stackars mamma behover vila nu, hon fick jobba sa hart och aven om jag och B gjorde allt for att avlasta sa ar det ju fruktansvart tungt. Mamma ar inte langre ung, och hon har ont... Mamma har alltid varit varan klippa. Hon ar min allra basta van och vi pratar var dag men jag har nog inte insett hur mycket och hart hon jobbar.
Jag maste och ska gora allt jag kan att avlasta mamma, framforallt nu efter det som har hant.
Sa - idag var det Bubba och jag igen! Vi har bada akt pa en riktigt forskylning som givetvis gor livert surt, men det ar ju sa konstigt med tanke pa detta vader som inte kan bestamma sig for vad det vill.
T ringde och fragade om vi ville ga en svang och fika vilket var jatte trevligt. Jag har saknat mina "mammor" och det kanns skont att jag har dem. Hon har bjudit hem ganget pa fika imorgon. Jag ser fram emot att se dem alla och prata lite strunt!
Vi forsoker fortfarande att fa igang skolan men det ar tufft. Vi maste fa tillrackligt manga barn och det ser lite karvt ut. Det kanske far bli sa att vi far vanta nagra veckor till vilket ar helt piss!
Jag vill verkligen att det funkar. For det forsta sa ar det ju nagonting jag brinner for och for det andra sa skulle det bli en bra inkomst... Hall tummar!
B har fatt en tidig fodelsedags present - blu ray! Han ar jatteglad! Nasta steg blir att kopa en stor LED tv men det far nog bli nasta manad. Jag menar, vem i hela varlden har pengar i januari?
Jag vet att hon saknar oss ocksa och vi ses ju snart igen, men det ar jobbigt. Jag onskar ofta att vi bodde narmare, sa att vi kunde ses mer regelbundet, men for tillfallet sa ar det sa har. B och jag har forstars pratat om att bo i Sverige och det ar inte helt uteslutet. Han forstar hur viktigt det ar for mig att vara nara min familj - men sjalvklart sa ar det ju samma for honom.
Stackars mamma behover vila nu, hon fick jobba sa hart och aven om jag och B gjorde allt for att avlasta sa ar det ju fruktansvart tungt. Mamma ar inte langre ung, och hon har ont... Mamma har alltid varit varan klippa. Hon ar min allra basta van och vi pratar var dag men jag har nog inte insett hur mycket och hart hon jobbar.
Jag maste och ska gora allt jag kan att avlasta mamma, framforallt nu efter det som har hant.
Sa - idag var det Bubba och jag igen! Vi har bada akt pa en riktigt forskylning som givetvis gor livert surt, men det ar ju sa konstigt med tanke pa detta vader som inte kan bestamma sig for vad det vill.
T ringde och fragade om vi ville ga en svang och fika vilket var jatte trevligt. Jag har saknat mina "mammor" och det kanns skont att jag har dem. Hon har bjudit hem ganget pa fika imorgon. Jag ser fram emot att se dem alla och prata lite strunt!
Vi forsoker fortfarande att fa igang skolan men det ar tufft. Vi maste fa tillrackligt manga barn och det ser lite karvt ut. Det kanske far bli sa att vi far vanta nagra veckor till vilket ar helt piss!
Jag vill verkligen att det funkar. For det forsta sa ar det ju nagonting jag brinner for och for det andra sa skulle det bli en bra inkomst... Hall tummar!
B har fatt en tidig fodelsedags present - blu ray! Han ar jatteglad! Nasta steg blir att kopa en stor LED tv men det far nog bli nasta manad. Jag menar, vem i hela varlden har pengar i januari?
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