Tillbaka i Sverige igen, vad skönt det känns! Resan över var en mardröm. Vårat flyg blev omdirigerat till Arlanda och det tog minst en timma att endast få vårat bagage. Minst sagt så var min ömma moder vid bristningsgränsen och jag kan väl erkänna att jag inte var någon sol stråle heller. Stackars pappa fick köra upp till Stockholm och sen vidare till Arlanda!
Det är konstigt ändå Julen. Alla samlas och man ska försöka samsas och ha det trevligt. Man ler och säger snälla saker och drömmer om klapparna under granen...
Men det är väl ändå märkligt att man inte kan samsas året runt?
Nu är väl ändå inte jag världsbäst på allt detta "var snäll mot alla" - är någon dum så är de, men jag kan lära mig att tolerera. Carin säger alltid att jag är som en öppen bok och det har ju skapat problem i livet.
Jag fick en prövning häromdagen när jag träffade en av mina mammor. Vi är en grupp tjejer som träffas regelbundet och simmar/fikar/går ut och käkar eller tar en krog runda och givetvis så pratar vi ofta om våra barn. Vi alla fick barn ungefär samtidigt så vi har mycket gemensamt.
Men en av dessa tjejer kan inte prata om någonting annat än hennes unge. Missförstå mig inte - han är jättesöt och visst är det underbart att vara mamma men jag har ju inte dött och återuppstått som Super Mum.
Det har nog den här tjejen. Hon har läst alla böcker, han den nyaste Bugaboon, har alla Annabel Karlmel böcker plus diverese köks redskap (till en baby??!), de tuffaste leksaker och har precis inköpt en mega stor Chelsea traktor. (Land Rover Discovery - reds. anmk).
Jag vet vad vissa av er tänker: Den enda sanna Svenska känslan? Nej. Aldrig i livet.
Sure, så lyan kunde vara större - men den är VÅR. Vi har kanske inte de nyast "It" leksaker, men i sanningens namn så leker Jackson bäst med sin blåa plastmugg. (10 kronor pa "Poundland"). Vi har en fin bil som rullar och som jag, framförallt parkera lätt med och for the rest - Who cares?
Som sagt, denna tjej prata inte om någonting annat än denna lilla unge. Vad han åt till frukost. Hur jobbigt det har varit med tänderna som kommer/inte kommer. Vad hans favvo låt pa radio är (?), hur mycket han har växt sen sist vi sågs, hur känslig hans hud är, vilket fint hår han har/fin frisyr, när han ska på kontroll, vad som hände på kontroll... Asså, byt skiva.
Nu tror ni kanske att jag inte tycker om henne. Det gör jag faktiskt. Hon är jättesnäll. Fruktansvärt givmild och du kan lita på henne i vått och torrt. Hon är gör-kul efter en flarra vin. Men problemet är att hennes son är hennes hela liv just nu och hon har tappat bort sig själv lite.
Jag trivs med att vara mamma. Verkligen älskar att vara mamma. Men jag älskar att vara Jag och vill fortfarande prata om sådant som intresserade mig innan.
Monday 21 December 2009
Tuesday 13 October 2009
House move
The good old moving house business is rapidly approaching and I can honestly say that I'm NOT looking forward to it. On the contrary - I would like to buy a ticket to Thailand, lie on a beach and wait for everything to magically sort itself out.... Yeah. Like that's going to happen!
The actual move isn't the problem - we've got it covered and have so many people helping us - but it's the moving in that's worrying me. See, this is the first time I've bought a house and suddenly there are tons of issues to sort out. Our new flat has carpets, something which I hate with a passion, so these need to come out. In order for us to do that, we need to plan to go in beforehand and assess the situation and planning is not something that comes easily to my dear boyfriend.
Love him to bits, but he's more of a "moment - to - moment kinda guy" and I'm more of a planner.
Nevertheless, I'm sure we'll get somewhere soon. At least I hope so. My poor mother (who is an EXTREME planner), is stressing and keeps repeating that I: "must have nerves of steel" and "tons of patience"... This, however, is driving me mad too as I'm trying to mediate and reassure her.
On top of all this I'm trying to do my job (and it's been hard to adjust back to a working life!) and I'm trying to be a mum, and furthermore - we're trying to open a brand new drama school in January 2010.
I must be a sadomasachist.
The actual move isn't the problem - we've got it covered and have so many people helping us - but it's the moving in that's worrying me. See, this is the first time I've bought a house and suddenly there are tons of issues to sort out. Our new flat has carpets, something which I hate with a passion, so these need to come out. In order for us to do that, we need to plan to go in beforehand and assess the situation and planning is not something that comes easily to my dear boyfriend.
Love him to bits, but he's more of a "moment - to - moment kinda guy" and I'm more of a planner.
Nevertheless, I'm sure we'll get somewhere soon. At least I hope so. My poor mother (who is an EXTREME planner), is stressing and keeps repeating that I: "must have nerves of steel" and "tons of patience"... This, however, is driving me mad too as I'm trying to mediate and reassure her.
On top of all this I'm trying to do my job (and it's been hard to adjust back to a working life!) and I'm trying to be a mum, and furthermore - we're trying to open a brand new drama school in January 2010.
I must be a sadomasachist.
Saturday 10 October 2009
Working week over!
Phew! That was my first week at work over - Thank God!
It hasn't been that hard really, but it is tricky to get your head around being back on the tube, suited and booted, and sitting in front of a computer all day. I hated commuting before and I still do although there's a vital and significant difference - I can read a book. Undisturbed!?
Thankfully, my colleauges are lovely so time passed quickly but unfortunatley they seem to think that I know exactly what to do!
I understand now why people tend to start tentatively, as it's a total shock to the system! I couldn't remember a thing and had to go over all the database shortcodes, passwords, keys, finance stuff etc.. I guess I'll get there eventually, but it'll take time.
Now anyone who knows me that I'm not a patient person so I tend to beat myself up if I "don't get it" straight away... Suppose I need to learn just to breathe and take a step back.
I've been thinking a lot about how I've changed actually. Especially how Jackson has contributed to these changes. He has learned me respect and I think I'm more patient and together person now... Maybe it's motherhood in general, I don't know, but either way - it's a positive change!
It's a strange feeling to suddenly be back in the "old me". I like that person, but as I've changed it feels rather as if I'm looking from the outside - in.
But God - how I miss him when I'm away....
It hasn't been that hard really, but it is tricky to get your head around being back on the tube, suited and booted, and sitting in front of a computer all day. I hated commuting before and I still do although there's a vital and significant difference - I can read a book. Undisturbed!?
Thankfully, my colleauges are lovely so time passed quickly but unfortunatley they seem to think that I know exactly what to do!
I understand now why people tend to start tentatively, as it's a total shock to the system! I couldn't remember a thing and had to go over all the database shortcodes, passwords, keys, finance stuff etc.. I guess I'll get there eventually, but it'll take time.
Now anyone who knows me that I'm not a patient person so I tend to beat myself up if I "don't get it" straight away... Suppose I need to learn just to breathe and take a step back.
I've been thinking a lot about how I've changed actually. Especially how Jackson has contributed to these changes. He has learned me respect and I think I'm more patient and together person now... Maybe it's motherhood in general, I don't know, but either way - it's a positive change!
It's a strange feeling to suddenly be back in the "old me". I like that person, but as I've changed it feels rather as if I'm looking from the outside - in.
But God - how I miss him when I'm away....
Monday 5 October 2009
Work
So, I'm back at work again. I went back last Friday and although I had a nice day all in all, the novelty has definitely worn off and now I can't stand it.
There are lost of changes and I can't remember how to do anything so I suppose that has something to do with it. I feel completely out of it and I don't like it. I would prefer to feel like I was in charge of things, that I knew what was going on. I guess because you have to be so switched on as a mum, that this "lull" stage just really annoys me.
Mind you - this is only day two so maybe I'm asking too much of myself. I'm not a patient person really. I like things to be done quickly and efficiently. I don't like all this faff!
Anyhooo... My dear mother is over helping me look after Jackson and so far it's going really well. She loves spending time with him and he absolutely LOVES his mormor - it's so funny!
I'm off tomorrow and Wednesday so hopefully the weather will stay dry so we can go to the park. Er... What am I saying?! This is England remember - it always rains!
There are lost of changes and I can't remember how to do anything so I suppose that has something to do with it. I feel completely out of it and I don't like it. I would prefer to feel like I was in charge of things, that I knew what was going on. I guess because you have to be so switched on as a mum, that this "lull" stage just really annoys me.
Mind you - this is only day two so maybe I'm asking too much of myself. I'm not a patient person really. I like things to be done quickly and efficiently. I don't like all this faff!
Anyhooo... My dear mother is over helping me look after Jackson and so far it's going really well. She loves spending time with him and he absolutely LOVES his mormor - it's so funny!
I'm off tomorrow and Wednesday so hopefully the weather will stay dry so we can go to the park. Er... What am I saying?! This is England remember - it always rains!
Tuesday 22 September 2009
House
Flippin heck! I know that people say that the most stressful things you can go through/do in life are:
1. Buying a House
2. Getting married
3. Having a baby
So you would think by having achieved number three and still not having killed my partner (nor him me), we should be okay with the rest?
Well, can't say much about the marrying part but we are in process of buying a house and boy - IT IS STRESSFUL!
Now, I must admit that poor B does get the brunt of it all.
He has to handle all the calls and paper work back and forth, and I know that he's stressed out already as it is.
He is an absolute rock and I can honestly say that I don't know what I'd do without him...
Anyhooo... It seems to maybe, perhaps, possibly be moving forwards. It has changed so many times and all because of this little thing called a "LEASE"... Bugger to it all I say! "A plague on both your houses". Well... No, I don't want that really, but you understand what I'm getting at here.
I just hope it gets sorted, I really just want to move in to our house!
So fingers crossed people!
1. Buying a House
2. Getting married
3. Having a baby
So you would think by having achieved number three and still not having killed my partner (nor him me), we should be okay with the rest?
Well, can't say much about the marrying part but we are in process of buying a house and boy - IT IS STRESSFUL!
Now, I must admit that poor B does get the brunt of it all.
He has to handle all the calls and paper work back and forth, and I know that he's stressed out already as it is.
He is an absolute rock and I can honestly say that I don't know what I'd do without him...
Anyhooo... It seems to maybe, perhaps, possibly be moving forwards. It has changed so many times and all because of this little thing called a "LEASE"... Bugger to it all I say! "A plague on both your houses". Well... No, I don't want that really, but you understand what I'm getting at here.
I just hope it gets sorted, I really just want to move in to our house!
So fingers crossed people!
Tuesday 8 September 2009
Warm in September?!
Phew! It's been crazy hot today! Well... I say crazy hot, when it's actually only been quite warm but because it's so unusual it took everyone by surprise! It was really sunny and I got away with wearing a skirt and vest - yeay!
I went to the park and met up with E and T for a lovely picnic. It was beautiful and it was nice to catch up with the girls. I didn't get to speak to them properly at Jackson's party. Isn't that funny how you never seem to have time to talk to anyone when it's your party but when you go to someone's party you do?
Parita also came around for a chat which was great as I haven't seen her in soooo long. She may be going to Kenya... We ARE definitely going out to visit her. Africa here we go!
Speaking of Jackson's Party, his "Welcome to the World" party was this weekend and it was great! Really, really lovely. So many people turned up and Jackson got some amazing gifts - people were so generous. I had a smashing time too and I think Jackson enjoyed it although it was tricky with all the attention. Everyone wanted to cuddle him and hold him and in the end he was rather fretful. Who can blame him?
The food spread was AMAZING! Granny and Gramps had done a fabulous job. There were pizzas, different cold meats, nuts, crisps, sandwiches, scones, cakes, cakes, cakes and more cakes! Jackson's pirate cake was fantastic! A proper "skatt kista"!
I'm going out with the girls tomorrow - Whoohoooo! We're going out for dinner and drinks in Watford. I'm really looking forward to it, it'll be great to feel a bit normal and have the evening off! (But I know me, I'll just end up missing Bubba!)
Summer is not giving up. Ah... I love it!!
Monday 7 September 2009
Brighton
Holiday again!
Brooks, Jackson and I drove down to Brighton yesterday for another little mini holiday. We were staying right on the seafront and although the hotel was pretty basic, (Travelodge), it was very comfy and clean.
I LOVE Brighton. I really do! It's funny though how much it makes me think of a sort of "Camden by the sea". It's very arty and relaxed but there are also more posher bits, like say Richmond, Chiswick or even Ricky... I would absolutely love to live here. We even looked at house prices and we could possibly afford a nice house...
And it's not that far to London either, only about an hour by car! I think trains would be expensive though which is a minus as Brooks has to commute.
Today was gorgeous, sunny and warm! We strolled down the beach front and went down the Pier. It was so lovely. We walked around and have coffees and watched the world go by... Bliss!
We went down the Lanes and we saw some amazing baby shops... Brighton is full of preggers and yummy mummies and the shops are there to tempt them all! (And me!) I bought some lovely things for Jackson new room - it's going to look great when it's all done! We also got him a shirt from Baby Gap, they had a sale on and I just couldn't resist!
Speaking of buying stuff - The ELC had a sale on this weekend and we bought some brilliant stuff for Jackson! We got him a sun tent/sandpit, a wooden walker and a pool for the garden. Amazing! I'm so pleased! Such a shame that they closing down although apparantly they'll keep their stuff at Mothercare...
Anyhooo... Brooks is back at work tomorrow so back to normal for Jackson and I!
Brooks, Jackson and I drove down to Brighton yesterday for another little mini holiday. We were staying right on the seafront and although the hotel was pretty basic, (Travelodge), it was very comfy and clean.
I LOVE Brighton. I really do! It's funny though how much it makes me think of a sort of "Camden by the sea". It's very arty and relaxed but there are also more posher bits, like say Richmond, Chiswick or even Ricky... I would absolutely love to live here. We even looked at house prices and we could possibly afford a nice house...
And it's not that far to London either, only about an hour by car! I think trains would be expensive though which is a minus as Brooks has to commute.
Today was gorgeous, sunny and warm! We strolled down the beach front and went down the Pier. It was so lovely. We walked around and have coffees and watched the world go by... Bliss!
We went down the Lanes and we saw some amazing baby shops... Brighton is full of preggers and yummy mummies and the shops are there to tempt them all! (And me!) I bought some lovely things for Jackson new room - it's going to look great when it's all done! We also got him a shirt from Baby Gap, they had a sale on and I just couldn't resist!
Speaking of buying stuff - The ELC had a sale on this weekend and we bought some brilliant stuff for Jackson! We got him a sun tent/sandpit, a wooden walker and a pool for the garden. Amazing! I'm so pleased! Such a shame that they closing down although apparantly they'll keep their stuff at Mothercare...
Anyhooo... Brooks is back at work tomorrow so back to normal for Jackson and I!
Friday 4 September 2009
Autumn
It's really starting to feel like it's Autumn here now.
I was really cold when I got up this morning and had to turn the heating on! Although I'll mourn the end of summer, I'm also looking forward to cosy lie ins with Bubba, sipping hot chocolate and watching GMTV in bed! I put my slippers on and put Jackson in his long sleeved babygrow.
I'm looking to start weaning Jackson now. Well, I've already started it as he has baby rice/cereal for breakfast but I'm going to introduce sweet potatoes next week. I wonder if he'll like it or not! He's not overly keen on the baby rice to be honest. He still seems more interested in the bottle/breast. I'm not worried, nor am I in a hurry. We'll take it slow and Jackson will lead the way!
I was pleased to find out that the ice cubes that Milla uses for her baby can be bought in England! I rang her to see where she'd bought them (little round flowers - perfect size!) as I thought that mum could perhaps then buy some and bring over when she comes to visit but luckily they can be bought in Ikea! Yeay!
I'm going to make a big batch of food and then freeze it. I refuse to buy ready made - it's just way too expensive!!
I'm going to try and take Jackson to the clinic today. I really do need to have him weighed, I've no idea how much he weighs! (I haven't been there since before Sweden). I'm sure that he's fine though, he doesn't seem malnourished.
Brooks mum and stepdad are throwing a Welcome party for Jackson. We looked over the guest list and there are about fifty people coming! Eeek! Well, if everyone turns up at the same time and depending on the weather then we might be in trouble.
It's so lovely of them to organise the party. Brooks and I don't have to do a thing, just turn up and enjoy the party, as it were! What a wonderful treat?!
I have to pack (again!) later today as we're off to Brighton on Sunday, staying over to Tuesday morning and I probably won't have time nor the energy to that tomorrow. We've been travelling loads recently. Not that I'm complaining, it's nice to get away and I love hotels!
I was really cold when I got up this morning and had to turn the heating on! Although I'll mourn the end of summer, I'm also looking forward to cosy lie ins with Bubba, sipping hot chocolate and watching GMTV in bed! I put my slippers on and put Jackson in his long sleeved babygrow.
I'm looking to start weaning Jackson now. Well, I've already started it as he has baby rice/cereal for breakfast but I'm going to introduce sweet potatoes next week. I wonder if he'll like it or not! He's not overly keen on the baby rice to be honest. He still seems more interested in the bottle/breast. I'm not worried, nor am I in a hurry. We'll take it slow and Jackson will lead the way!
I was pleased to find out that the ice cubes that Milla uses for her baby can be bought in England! I rang her to see where she'd bought them (little round flowers - perfect size!) as I thought that mum could perhaps then buy some and bring over when she comes to visit but luckily they can be bought in Ikea! Yeay!
I'm going to make a big batch of food and then freeze it. I refuse to buy ready made - it's just way too expensive!!
I'm going to try and take Jackson to the clinic today. I really do need to have him weighed, I've no idea how much he weighs! (I haven't been there since before Sweden). I'm sure that he's fine though, he doesn't seem malnourished.
Brooks mum and stepdad are throwing a Welcome party for Jackson. We looked over the guest list and there are about fifty people coming! Eeek! Well, if everyone turns up at the same time and depending on the weather then we might be in trouble.
It's so lovely of them to organise the party. Brooks and I don't have to do a thing, just turn up and enjoy the party, as it were! What a wonderful treat?!
I have to pack (again!) later today as we're off to Brighton on Sunday, staying over to Tuesday morning and I probably won't have time nor the energy to that tomorrow. We've been travelling loads recently. Not that I'm complaining, it's nice to get away and I love hotels!
New Blog
Hi and welcome to my new blog!
If you don't know me then read on as it'll give you an idea of who I am:
Introduction: I'm a thirty - something woman who recently gave birth to a beautiful bouncing baby boy called Jackson. It was an amazing experience and I loved being pregnant and I absolutely love to watch Jackson grow and learn new things every day.
I live with my partner B in Hertfordshire and we're just in the process of buying our first property! (Major stress element!!).
I was born in Sweden, on the east coast just south of Stockholm and moved to the U.K in 2001 to study drama. I do miss Sweden a lot, and much more now when I have a family of my own, but luckily I can always jump on a budget airline and be there in three hours!
I work as a drama teacher although at the moment I'm on maternity leave. I have a fantastic network of friends and try and fill my days with all sorts of activities for Jackson and I. ("Baby singing" being one of them... )
Happy reading folks!
If you don't know me then read on as it'll give you an idea of who I am:
Introduction: I'm a thirty - something woman who recently gave birth to a beautiful bouncing baby boy called Jackson. It was an amazing experience and I loved being pregnant and I absolutely love to watch Jackson grow and learn new things every day.
I live with my partner B in Hertfordshire and we're just in the process of buying our first property! (Major stress element!!).
I was born in Sweden, on the east coast just south of Stockholm and moved to the U.K in 2001 to study drama. I do miss Sweden a lot, and much more now when I have a family of my own, but luckily I can always jump on a budget airline and be there in three hours!
I work as a drama teacher although at the moment I'm on maternity leave. I have a fantastic network of friends and try and fill my days with all sorts of activities for Jackson and I. ("Baby singing" being one of them... )
Happy reading folks!
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